True Happiness

It's Friday!!!!

We homeschool only four days a week, which leaves Fridays open for co-op every other week, field trips, and other appointments or fun things.  Today, I'm sort of lying low for a few hours before giving a bridal shower tonight.  My girls and I were over at the church for several hours yesterday and last night setting up, so it's nice to have a little time to breathe.

Giving a bridal shower takes quite a bit of time.  I am realizing why bridesmaids are usually single ladies!  While I am glad to have an opportunity to bless my dear friend in this way, I have spent an inordinate amount of time away from my family this week.  Shopping, planning, decorating, and, finally, the actual party tonight.  While I was able to have 3 of my girls with me last night and all four of my girls will be in attendance this evening, I haven't tucked my boys into bed for 3 nights nor will I tonight.

In years past, school would have been put on the back burner as the children were younger and had to go with me everywhere.  Not to mention, they needed me in order to accomplish most of their school-work.  However, as they are able to stay at home without me and most of their work is independent, I am glad to say we are not far behind in any subjects due to my absence this week.  Also, I tried hard to make sure most of my errands and projects were scheduled for the afternoon when I knew school would be over.

While I like flexibility in our school days, to some degree, and realize that other experiences can teach my children valuable lessons beyond the books, when it comes to MY extra-curricular events, I try to make sure they don't interfere with my children's education.

This week, I received an education, as well....I found that I am truly happiest at home with my children.   I hate coming home at the end of a long day and realizing that I have no idea what they've been up to.  They do well, for the most part, as they know that this is just a season.  They receive my time and attention more days than not, so they are secure in my love for them, though they are often sad to find out that I will be absent for hours and not home to say, "good-night."

Right now,  I have the two youngest playing on the floor beside me, my oldest studying Google-Earth at the desk across the room, 3 kids playing a game at the kitchen table, and one who just left the house to go tend to the animals for a bit, but then she'll return.  All my babies in their nest...with their mother.

Bliss.

Getting Help in our Homeschool

The weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders and the reason for that is, at this very moment, sitting at my kitchen table.  My biggest stress factor of the year is gone and my family is happier.  I highly recommend this cure for stress.

What is it?

A science tutor.

My two oldest are doing Physical Science this year.  This is the second year for one of them and this year wasn't proving to be much easier despite the change of curriculum.  My brain backfires when it comes to the higher sciences and maths.  By higher I mean sixth grade and beyond.  As soon as you begin mixing letters and numbers, my brain freezes.  When I see the Periodic Table of Elements, I go into a coma.

In addition to planning, preparing for, and teaching lessons for five other children, I was trying to find time to teach myself 9th grade science just so I could make a bit of sense while helping my kids.  I even employed the internet to help clarify our lessons, all to no avail.

Enter, our dear friend Katie.  She loves to teach.  She got through 9th grade science (more recently than I, I might add).  She's single.  She and my kids have known and loved each other for years.  She is creative and loves to do experiments.

Every week, for two hours, Katie sits at the kitchen table and reviews the previous week's assignments. The kids have to read a certain amount of pages, write down the main ideas, and answer the questions.  She explains and reviews for about an hour.  This is done conversationally and via games.  There's a lot of laughing along with a lot of learning going on.  She rewards the kids with candy or fun activities.  For another hour or so, they do experiments.  Today, in talking about calories, they will be making ice cream.  Trust me...I've never been THAT fun.

The kids have had at least 2 quizzes in the last 5 weeks.  My son received his first 100% of the year.  In the first session, Katie figured out exactly how each of my kids learn and has put that knowledge to use to benefit them.

My kids don't complain about science any more.  I don't have heart palpitations nor do I have such an overwhelming feeling of failure.  My responsibility now consists only of asking the kids if they've done their assignments and paying Katie every few weeks.  *sigh of great relief*

Are you struggling in a certain subject?  Seek out someone who has time and knowledge and a willingness to share both with you and your students.  It may cost a few dollars, but the success of your children and your relief will be invaluable.

Let me know what areas you get help in or if you're struggling to find help.  I would love to pray for you and your family!

Be Real

I just found out recently that someone was intimidated by me.  ME!!  I never thought of myself as intimidating.  Intimidated, yes, but not intimidating.  When I asked this woman why she felt that way, her answer was because I seem to "always have it together."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ahem...*

Now that I have control of myself, let me graciously say....NOT!!!!!!!

It is amazing how we can get an idea of how someone really is when we only see them about 3 hours a week.  The woman who mentioned her intimidation now lives out of state and we, obviously, no longer attend the same church.  When she did, she only saw me Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.  She saw me smiling, dressed with clean and matching clothes.  She saw me laughing with my friends and sitting with my family; our arms around each other, holding hands, or holding a little one on my lap.  I guess I may have look pretty put together.

What this woman didn't see - what most people do not see - is the hurrying around the house before church.  She doesn't see the Wednesday night dinner dishes still piled on the shelf as I didn't plan far enough ahead to get everything cleaned up before running out the door.  She doesn't see the times where kids have to rummage through the DIRTY laundry sack to find a pair of matching socks to wear!  She doesn't hear me raising my voice at my children to "get with the program!!"  She doesn't see the tears I sometimes shed on the way to church in desires of having it together like so-and-so.

Should I walk into church looking as disheveled as I feel?  I don't believe so.  For testimony's sake, I put a smile on my face.  However, I sometimes think this does more of a dis-service to my sisters in Christ than it does bless them.  Those who know me well know that I struggle.  Yet, they don't even know the extent.  My pride keeps me from sharing too much.

I recently read one of the best books ever written for moms.  Todd Wilson's "Lies Homeschool Moms Believe" is directed toward homeschool moms, but I think all moms struggle with some of these lies.  I won't reiterate his entire book.  I will highly recommend you find a copy and read it (it only took me about 4 hours).   One of his main points was that by us moms acting like we have it all together we are often a discouragement to other moms.  We all know at least one person who looks like they can do it all with no stress and we compare ourselves to her.  When we're standing in the midst of our home looking at our dirty counters, listening to our children arguing, seeing the books piled on the kitchen table, we think about that person.  We beat ourselves up with the thoughts that "so-and-so never goes through this.  She is so organized.  She would never allow her home or family get out of control like I do!"

Finding out that someone actually thought that I was one of those moms who seemed to have it together really confirms my beliefs that even those "perfect" moms are intimidated and wish they could be more like someone else.   You've heard it said thousands of times before, but believe it this time - NONE OF US IS PERFECT!!!

By merely taking the time to talk with various moms, I find out that even the most "put together" struggles with fears, intimidations, anger, stress, etc.  There is a formula to help us from being intimidated by one another - take time to talk and be real with one another.

I apologize to anyone if I have ever appeared to have it so together as to be intimidating.  It is only by the grace of God that I am even able to put one foot in front of the other some days.  Just ask my husband.  For the bitter truth, ask my kids.  But, I don't think my pride could stand that kind of honesty!


*NOTE:  I recommend a video interview with Todd & Debbie Wilson over at Home Educating Family Publishing. *

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day. At our church, We spend time honoring the moms by opening a couple of mics for people to stand up and let everyone know how much their mom means to them. The lines of people are huge and it is a time filled with love, smiles, laughter, and tears.

Three of my children opted to honor me in front of the church. One of them, however, exploited the realities of my mothering when it was her turn.

"Thanks for homeschooling us even though you tell us about 100 times a year that you're going to send us to school. Happy Mother's Day. I love you!"

Yeah - in front of 500 people. Me, the head of our church's homeschool co-op.

I had to laugh, though. And, I did feel better when a couple of parents came up to me afterward and say "You say that, too?"

I love my kids - even when they're blatantly honest!!!